每當到了崇拜中奉獻時詠唱「為主獻上自己」，我常常都淚眼滿盈。口中高唱着「主祢給我這麽多，我知是因為祢愛我」，心底裏却不斷湧現上帝如何帶領我走過谷底。為健康的緣故，我在二ＯＯ七年十一月卸下工作超過十年的崗位，希望為健康多留一點儲備。當一切都放下了，却又害怕自己變得一無所有。當靜下來與內子商量，計劃一下將來的日子應如何安排，却又發覺自己的小信。保羅透過他寫給哥林多教會的信提醒我﹕「（我們）似乎貧窮，却使許多人富足﹔（我們）似乎一無所有，却樣樣都有」(林後六:10下)。是的，當自己數算一下這十多年積下來的儲蓄和投資，便會發現「主真的給我這麽多。」
我常以為自己是一個真正懂得保護環境的人，更不時告訴別人「環保」不單只是循環再用、使用「不織布」的環保袋……更重要的，是不去主動的破壞環境和不浪費。要使自己不浪費，首先是明白自己已經足夠，但都市人常覺不足，最後便造成浪費。當我面對未來，便擔心「彈藥」不夠，更在心底裏埋怨上帝給我的不夠多、不夠好…….，每當想到這裏，不禁羞愧莫名。
一年過去。自己在投資上無法避免虧損、個人收入全年亦只有三千元、內子在重新建立事業時遇上全球金融海嘯……這一切的出現，不單沒有使我失去信心，反而讓我更深體會「主祢給我這麽多」。「肝硬化」使我病倒了，但卻叫我從「割裂的人生」蛻變進入「完整的人生」。當然，生命的完整是指靈性上的，而不是指肉體或物質上的。正如使徒保羅在《羅馬書》八﹕18這樣寫﹕「我認為，現在的苦楚，若比起將來要顯示給我們的榮耀，是不足介意的。」憑着保羅的這段說話，世上還會有叫我們失去信心的試探嗎！
2008年7月4日星期五
Why Church Survivor
"Survivor" may have a negative impression. No one can force us to go to church, or force us to believe in any religion, why then, a “church survivor”? When I name this blog "church survivor" simply want to share with you that we may find hard time to survive in our church, or even may have difficulty to get along with other church members. For sure, there are all kinds of people, but we are sinners, even we are church members. Some may even behave like gangsters, while some may look like a sheep, but actually a wolf, but these shall not be the hindrance to anyone to become a member of church and a son of God. Neither people nor their behaviours shall be the barrier between a person and God. Thus, a "church survivor" has a deeper meaning. If we truly believe in God, our Christian faith will act like a mirror which will reflect the behaviour of ourselves and others. Through this, we will see all the evil things that we do if we look at ourselves sincerely and honestly. This has been written in the Book of Romans 7:14-25 by St. Paul.
"We know that the Law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.... What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
If church is a place full of sinful people, it is almost impossible to avoid we sin one another due to our sinful nature. By the Grace of our Lord, Jesus accepts us all when we are still a sinner. At the same time, we are saved by His Grace too; we should then stay away from sin. That is what St. Paul has taught us in the Book of Romans 6:1-2
"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?"
To be a church survivor, it may have two folds. One is because Jesus saves us by Grace. Without God’s Grace, we can’t survive. The second fold is because we all are sinners, and we sin one another too. Therefore, we all should ask God to help us to behave good enough so that we will not hurting one another.
Even all we can do is to survive, but we still can enjoy the Christian living that we can’t find anywhere else, but only in the church.
"We know that the Law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.... What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
If church is a place full of sinful people, it is almost impossible to avoid we sin one another due to our sinful nature. By the Grace of our Lord, Jesus accepts us all when we are still a sinner. At the same time, we are saved by His Grace too; we should then stay away from sin. That is what St. Paul has taught us in the Book of Romans 6:1-2
"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?"
To be a church survivor, it may have two folds. One is because Jesus saves us by Grace. Without God’s Grace, we can’t survive. The second fold is because we all are sinners, and we sin one another too. Therefore, we all should ask God to help us to behave good enough so that we will not hurting one another.
Even all we can do is to survive, but we still can enjoy the Christian living that we can’t find anywhere else, but only in the church.
2008年6月27日星期五
再生
近日很多人聞「油」色變，原油價已升越美元140一桶。世界各地政府都為高油價所帶來的高通脹而費煞思量，不少政府重提「可再生能源」，以為這是解決高通脹方法之一。令我覺得有趣的是「可再生」這個境界。
前些日子再讀沈從文的《邊城》，裏面描述當人死後，在世人會為離世的亡魂超渡，聘請道士「引領」亡魂進到陰間，叫亡魂不要留落凡間。香港的傳統文化也有類似的習俗。亡魂抵達地府陰曹就好比「再生」一樣。自己雖然是基督徒，却嚮往本土文化。年前岳母過世，內子的兄長亦同樣聘請了道士來為岳母的亡魂超渡。沈從文所描寫的是湖南少數民族的文化，但巧合得很却與中西合璧的香港文化有其共通處。由此可見，沈從文所廁身的世界與今日香港人的世界都包含着一種共同信念，重視人死後往哪裏去。聖經約翰福音三﹕１–１５記述了一位有身份地位的人叫尼哥底母，他希望耶穌告訴他怎樣才可以再活一次。能源可以再生，人死後能否再生呢？
我生於一個十分講求功利的家庭，自少便習慣上擂臺。由於資質愚魯，在家庭的英雄擂臺上常常扮演失敗者。因此，心理上常希望可以重新投胎，揀一個不哪麽功利的家。曾經在一次徵文比賽中讀過一篇小五學生的投稿，他希望重新投胎，成為富商李嘉誠的兒子。「英國廣播公司」在公元二千年邀請了一些英國家庭自願參加一個特別的計劃。該計劃邀請了一些專家觀察這些家庭的兒童在出生後頭十年的成長歷程，內容發人深省，也使我更深刻體會家庭和政府在培育下一代的責任重大。把握現在的優勢，創建一個更能融入大自然的未來，我們便不用常想着要另投一户富人家。
我自小便喜愛任何有生命的東西，也許是小動物、又或是小小的植物。每次領養了，總是設法使這小生命延續下去。
二十多年前，有一位同事送我一隻小白兔，但由於不懂治養，牠很快便生病起來。我還深刻記得，早上起牀上班時看見兔子命懸一線，便立刻坐計程車往當時位於紅磡的「防止虐畜會」。家人還笑我笨，說再買一隻還便宜些。差不多三十年了，我還是堅信生命是無價的，只是人常用金錢來衡量任何物事，包括無價的生命。
父母一向喜愛栽種，我們雖然住在市區，但家中不乏各類形的小花卉。我也因此從小便愛與泥土和美麗的花盆作伴。
記得六年前的中國農曆年，母親送給我一盆洋蘭過年。隨着時間流逝，花兒亦一朶朶的掉下，跟着便不再開花。五年過去，直到二００八年的農曆年，這盆蘭花陪伴我搬了兩次屋，走遍了九龍和新界。直到今天，花枝上還挺立着十朶紫色的花兒。它也是我栽種蘭花以來開花最多的，共綻放了三十朶。生命也是這樣，倘若不重視它，我們很容易便會想放棄，又或是自暴自棄。
前些日子再讀沈從文的《邊城》，裏面描述當人死後，在世人會為離世的亡魂超渡，聘請道士「引領」亡魂進到陰間，叫亡魂不要留落凡間。香港的傳統文化也有類似的習俗。亡魂抵達地府陰曹就好比「再生」一樣。自己雖然是基督徒，却嚮往本土文化。年前岳母過世，內子的兄長亦同樣聘請了道士來為岳母的亡魂超渡。沈從文所描寫的是湖南少數民族的文化，但巧合得很却與中西合璧的香港文化有其共通處。由此可見，沈從文所廁身的世界與今日香港人的世界都包含着一種共同信念，重視人死後往哪裏去。聖經約翰福音三﹕１–１５記述了一位有身份地位的人叫尼哥底母，他希望耶穌告訴他怎樣才可以再活一次。能源可以再生，人死後能否再生呢？
我生於一個十分講求功利的家庭，自少便習慣上擂臺。由於資質愚魯，在家庭的英雄擂臺上常常扮演失敗者。因此，心理上常希望可以重新投胎，揀一個不哪麽功利的家。曾經在一次徵文比賽中讀過一篇小五學生的投稿，他希望重新投胎，成為富商李嘉誠的兒子。「英國廣播公司」在公元二千年邀請了一些英國家庭自願參加一個特別的計劃。該計劃邀請了一些專家觀察這些家庭的兒童在出生後頭十年的成長歷程，內容發人深省，也使我更深刻體會家庭和政府在培育下一代的責任重大。把握現在的優勢，創建一個更能融入大自然的未來，我們便不用常想着要另投一户富人家。
我自小便喜愛任何有生命的東西，也許是小動物、又或是小小的植物。每次領養了，總是設法使這小生命延續下去。
二十多年前，有一位同事送我一隻小白兔，但由於不懂治養，牠很快便生病起來。我還深刻記得，早上起牀上班時看見兔子命懸一線，便立刻坐計程車往當時位於紅磡的「防止虐畜會」。家人還笑我笨，說再買一隻還便宜些。差不多三十年了，我還是堅信生命是無價的，只是人常用金錢來衡量任何物事，包括無價的生命。父母一向喜愛栽種，我們雖然住在市區，但家中不乏各類形的小花卉。我也因此從小便愛與泥土和美麗的花盆作伴。
記得六年前的中國農曆年，母親送給我一盆洋蘭過年。隨着時間流逝，花兒亦一朶朶的掉下，跟着便不再開花。五年過去，直到二００八年的農曆年，這盆蘭花陪伴我搬了兩次屋，走遍了九龍和新界。直到今天，花枝上還挺立着十朶紫色的花兒。它也是我栽種蘭花以來開花最多的，共綻放了三十朶。生命也是這樣，倘若不重視它，我們很容易便會想放棄，又或是自暴自棄。
2008年4月8日星期二
Residue Value
I copy this phrase from Economics, but I experience it from the real life when I suffer from chronic liver disease, and decide to have an early retirement. I suddenly find that some of my friends have stayed away from me. Will it because I am now become an unemployed person? My age tells people that I am too young to be retired. Are they afraid that I'm too poor to be their friend? I wonder if we're no longer have any value in others' eye, do we still worth to be somebody's friend? As a Hong Kong's Chinese, we see things from a practical perspective. Anything that has no value, besides we can dump it into the trash bin, it seems that there is no place for this kind of trash, no matter these things has life, or has no life. How poor we are?
I remember when I still struggle whether I should resign in August 2007, one of my friend advise me that I should take a good rest. But once I submit my resignation, he asks me what will be my next plan. It sounds like I must get something to do, or otherwise, I will have no value. Hey, he is the one to ask me to take a good rest. Then, I tell him that I've got no plan at all. The only plan is to get enough rest. My foregone pastor also asked me to join another christian publishing house where the Executive Director was his former pastor and he was looking for a Chief Editor. As usual, my personality didn't like to reject other people, but I really didn't feel like to accept the invitation. I eventually tell him that I want to take a good rest before I'll have any future planning.
From the Bible, we learn that we all have value. Jesus comes to earth because we all are treasure in His eyes, so that He dies for us to rescue us from sin. When we are weary, He sends His angel to comfort us. I was once suffered from depression. I see myself has no value, I only see the dark side of my life. I can't stop weeping whenever I encounter anything which I think that is negative. How poor am I? I pray to my Lord. He then sends His angel to me via my good friend to tell me that I'm precious, I have value. I start to walk out from all the darkness. It takes me almost half year to walk out from depression. During the period, I can't watch any movie, program, book, and even music if it will trigger my negative emotion. Now, I'm a free man, although I only earn HK$3,000 after I left my job, I can choose the life-style which is suitable for my health and my value of life.
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakeness or danger or sword? As it is written: 'For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither......, nor anything else in all creation, will be able separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35-39)
I remember when I still struggle whether I should resign in August 2007, one of my friend advise me that I should take a good rest. But once I submit my resignation, he asks me what will be my next plan. It sounds like I must get something to do, or otherwise, I will have no value. Hey, he is the one to ask me to take a good rest. Then, I tell him that I've got no plan at all. The only plan is to get enough rest. My foregone pastor also asked me to join another christian publishing house where the Executive Director was his former pastor and he was looking for a Chief Editor. As usual, my personality didn't like to reject other people, but I really didn't feel like to accept the invitation. I eventually tell him that I want to take a good rest before I'll have any future planning.
From the Bible, we learn that we all have value. Jesus comes to earth because we all are treasure in His eyes, so that He dies for us to rescue us from sin. When we are weary, He sends His angel to comfort us. I was once suffered from depression. I see myself has no value, I only see the dark side of my life. I can't stop weeping whenever I encounter anything which I think that is negative. How poor am I? I pray to my Lord. He then sends His angel to me via my good friend to tell me that I'm precious, I have value. I start to walk out from all the darkness. It takes me almost half year to walk out from depression. During the period, I can't watch any movie, program, book, and even music if it will trigger my negative emotion. Now, I'm a free man, although I only earn HK$3,000 after I left my job, I can choose the life-style which is suitable for my health and my value of life.
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakeness or danger or sword? As it is written: 'For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither......, nor anything else in all creation, will be able separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35-39)
2008年4月6日星期日
2008年3月16日星期日
A New Start
A middle age man, has spend more than 20 years in his grown-up church and the affiliated publishing organisation. In 1999, he found that he was a hepatitis B carrier, and the liver cirrhosis was founded. But he was so involved in the preparation of the his home church golden jubilee celebration, and dreamed about the church reformation as he was so impressed by what Martin Luther did in 1517. 
He is still finding comfort from the Hollywood movie, but never been shown in Hong Kong cinema: Luther which was acted by Joseph Fiennes. On 31 October 2007, this was the last day his footprint was disappeared from the gateway of the church he has been so involved for more than 30 years. On that day, except the only friend whom he still thinks it is worth to have such friendship, no one call him. Without any regret, he starts his new day.
He is still finding comfort from the Hollywood movie, but never been shown in Hong Kong cinema: Luther which was acted by Joseph Fiennes. On 31 October 2007, this was the last day his footprint was disappeared from the gateway of the church he has been so involved for more than 30 years. On that day, except the only friend whom he still thinks it is worth to have such friendship, no one call him. Without any regret, he starts his new day.
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